I can walk on water?

Hello you,

I hope this day has been wonderfully fall-ish and smily for you. Whatever that might mean.

I don't even understand when exactly this hit me, or the full extent of what this means, but I thought, for my own benefit, I would write out these thoughts.

Recently someone talked about Peter walking on the water to Jesus.....here's the passage.

Matthew 14:

 "²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,”^(D) they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage!^(E) It is I. Don’t be afraid.”^(F)

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

²⁹ “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,”^(G)he said, “why did you doubt?”

³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” '

I've heard this story so so so many times.  Like, someone can preach on it, and I know whats coming.  

However, the last time I heard this, my life suddenly became Peter's.  It was me who decided to step out of the boat and walk towards Jesus.  It was me, who suddenly was aware of all the 'wind' around me, it was me that took my eyes off of Jesus, me who started to falter and fall, but then Jesus' hand reaching down to me, pulling me closer to Him, saying "Why did you doubt, Tori?"

I think that if Peter had been asked to walk farther, he would've kept falling and Jesus would've been there holding out his hand as many times as it took for Peter to get to Him.  Jesus is like that, full of grace and mercy. Knowing that there is wind-obstacles, struggles, things that pull my attention off of Jesus, but also knowing that He is better, stronger, and more powerful than all of that.  

I look around, I get distracted.  I fix my eyes on Jesus, I can walk on water.  

Clarity.

Jesus wants me to come closer to Him, knowing that thats a process, a challenging and sometimes messy, terrifying, ugly mess of a process, but in the end, there is Jesus.  Drawing closer to Him is what I want. Communion. I refuse to let wind and waves distract me from that.  

When I feel the tension, when I get down....I am Peter.  Jesus is...well, Jesus :) Always full of grace. Always full of goodness.  Holding out His hand to me. As lies and doubts are expelled and rejected, I draw closer to Him.

I hope if you're reading this, you see where I am coming from, and...well..where I'm going. I hope you'll go there with me.

tor

ps...WAITTT. I just read it again.  When they got back in the boat, everyone WORSHIPPED Jesus, Peter calling out to Jesus, kindaa walking on water, and Jesus proving his Jesus'ness, people were free to Worship. hmm.... :)