I can walk on water?

Hello you,

I hope this day has been wonderfully fall-ish and smily for you. Whatever that might mean.

I don't even understand when exactly this hit me, or the full extent of what this means, but I thought, for my own benefit, I would write out these thoughts.

Recently someone talked about Peter walking on the water to Jesus.....here's the passage.

Matthew 14:

 "²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,”^(D) they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage!^(E) It is I. Don’t be afraid.”^(F)

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

²⁹ “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,”^(G)he said, “why did you doubt?”

³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” '

I've heard this story so so so many times.  Like, someone can preach on it, and I know whats coming.  

However, the last time I heard this, my life suddenly became Peter's.  It was me who decided to step out of the boat and walk towards Jesus.  It was me, who suddenly was aware of all the 'wind' around me, it was me that took my eyes off of Jesus, me who started to falter and fall, but then Jesus' hand reaching down to me, pulling me closer to Him, saying "Why did you doubt, Tori?"

I think that if Peter had been asked to walk farther, he would've kept falling and Jesus would've been there holding out his hand as many times as it took for Peter to get to Him.  Jesus is like that, full of grace and mercy. Knowing that there is wind-obstacles, struggles, things that pull my attention off of Jesus, but also knowing that He is better, stronger, and more powerful than all of that.  

I look around, I get distracted.  I fix my eyes on Jesus, I can walk on water.  

Clarity.

Jesus wants me to come closer to Him, knowing that thats a process, a challenging and sometimes messy, terrifying, ugly mess of a process, but in the end, there is Jesus.  Drawing closer to Him is what I want. Communion. I refuse to let wind and waves distract me from that.  

When I feel the tension, when I get down....I am Peter.  Jesus is...well, Jesus :) Always full of grace. Always full of goodness.  Holding out His hand to me. As lies and doubts are expelled and rejected, I draw closer to Him.

I hope if you're reading this, you see where I am coming from, and...well..where I'm going. I hope you'll go there with me.

tor

ps...WAITTT. I just read it again.  When they got back in the boat, everyone WORSHIPPED Jesus, Peter calling out to Jesus, kindaa walking on water, and Jesus proving his Jesus'ness, people were free to Worship. hmm.... :) 

I'm learning....are you?

I have been learning so much this summer and God has been patiently and lovingly revealing lots of things in my life, that I should've been blogging through the whole summer.  Alas...here I am, end of July, blogging. Better late than never. Oh, and blogging is really more for me anyways, so if you're reading this, I hope you gleam something from it, I have been...

God has impeccable, perfect timing-and somehow that idea always shocks me.  Its like He has to do the same things over and over (throughout history and in my life), and everytime I go, "ohhhh, You were there all along!"  What causes that? Why do I doubt when I've seen so much evidence of His grace, His love, His presence?

I think it has to do with the same reason I focus on the negative... or I judge people...or I don't get involved with certain things...or I'm unforgiving...

Notice I used the word "I" a lot?  Maybe its not that God isn't there...maybe its that we are not using our eyes to SEE! Our eyes and our minds get so focused on things that are unimportant or contrary to what we should be focused on.  (i'm going to move from "I" to "we" now k?)

Why aren't we getting more involved at church or invest in not-so-easy friendships? Why is it easier to sit and play video games or watch endless seasons of Lost, then to love people? Is it because our eyes see our wants and our needs rather than reacting to the INFINITE amount of grace and love that God has and is pouring out on us constantly.  That love deserves a response....but WHAT ARE WE DOING WITH IT?!?! If God COMPLETELY poured Himself out for us, shouldn't that be our grateful response to Him? Earlier today I was thinking that, if we've decided we are Jesus-followers, then we should be in FULL TIME ministry (no matter our occupation).  Our eyes should be constantly fixed on the goal.  Our focus should be on forgiving as God forgave us, serving as Jesus selflessly and humbly served us! Yet, here we are, getting stuck in ruts where we complain about where we are in life.  HELLLLOOOOO!  Wow, what am I doing? Who am I loving? And am I allowing God to transform me BY OPENING UP MY EYES to what life really is about?!

ok, I just got really passionate.  But, I'm admitting to you that I fall into traps constantly where I close my eyes.  Can we just, as a generation, strive with everything we are, to open our eyes to the NEEDS around us?

I'm telling you, God's plan for your life involves the person you're talking to right now, or the person across the office...or the PEOPLE down the street, or that are sitting alone at church...AND the people in Africa without food....all. of. the.above. Lets start loving.  That's God's plan, right?

phew. i've learned much more. so...more later.

love. peace. JOYYYYYYYYYY. (its in there)

tor